Past, Present, Future

‘Sometimes it’s the smallest decisions that can change your life forever.’ Keri Russell.

When I began writing this blog, in April 2012, I couldn’t imagine how my life would evolve or that someday, in the not so distant future, I would end up living in New Zealand. This blog started out, literally, as ramblings from my mind, and I like to think that despite the more travel orientated posts that come out these days, my blog generally remains true to it’s name and that you get an insight, still, into how my mind wanders.

In recent weeks, I have had a period of reflection. I know, that sounds totally hippy-ish and traveller-y and annoying, but it’s true and there’s no other way of putting it! I’ve thought about a lot of things – my past, the choices I’ve made that have brought me to where I am today, my present and, perhaps most of all, my future.

So, my past.

I speak a lot about choices, but I find them so interesting. We are presented with choices every single day, most of them insignificant, like what to have for lunch, but just occasionally, and sometimes without us even realising until later, the decisions we reach from the choices presented to us can change the course of our life forever. I can pinpoint some of the exact moments in time when I made decisions that would, and have, affected my future forever.

The day I decided to quit English at A Level because I didn’t like the teaching style. This led to my focus in geography and environmental science, and so onto my decision to study environmental science at university. If I had liked the teacher and stuck with English, I think I would have gone on to study that at university instead. Even that seemingly small decision at the time changed the degree I wanted to do, which in turn changed which universities I applied for…

I applied to five universities altogether, and visited four of those five. I spent 24+ hours in Norwich, Liverpool and Cardiff and didn’t really warm to any of them. Southampton was the last city / university I visited. We were late arriving because high winds closed the Severn Bridge and we were diverted. I spent three-four hours in the city that day, maximum, and all of that on campus. In those few hours, I made my decision that Southampton was the city / university for me. Just like that. I’d spent much more time at the other universities, seen so much more of the cities, but it turns out that Southampton was the right choice and I spent three happy years there. I am convinced I would not have been so happy anywhere else.

And more recently, the exact moment (I remember it clearly as it was less than a year ago) that I decided that New Zealand would be my chosen destination for my ‘big change’. I didn’t choose New Zealand as my first option – I looked into Canada before New Zealand. But the year’s consignment of visas for Canada had gone already, and I knew I had to do something radically different soon to shake up my life (as in, I didn’t want to wait until 2015 for a work visa to Canada). My friend suggested New Zealand. I Googled New Zealand. It looked great. The next day, I applied for my working holiday visa and the rest is history.

So, here I am. In the past month or so, I’ve not been as happy as I could have been. I made the wrong decision moving out of the hostel I was living in. Although I love the girls I’m living with, something hasn’t felt right for me. I’ve felt a bit cut-off and lonely and it’s made me miserable and more homesick. As it’s highly likely I’m only ever going to live in New Zealand once (although never say never!) there’s no point being unhappy, especially when I’m so far from home. So I am moving back to the hostel and as soon as I had made the decision to do that and told the girls I live with, I instantly felt more happy and lighter than I had since I moved out of the hostel. It’s great to know that I will be meeting new people again, making new friends and be part of the ‘travelling world’ once more.

When it comes to travelling, I have made plans to travel again in the very near future. I have a trip planned to go to Napier over Easter bank holiday. I have a month off in May when I will head back to the South Island and explore it more thoroughly. I’m ridiculously excited to be doing this, and to be going alone, in a rented car. I’m sure there’ll be much more to come about those particular travels in the future.

I’ve also been thinking about my longer term future as well though. My plans for when I eventually go home. What I want to do with my life. Develop my career, definitely. Travel more, definitely. Stay out of debt, definitely. With those key things in mind, I’ve devised a plan for the next 18 months or so, with aspiration I hope I’ll be able to fulfil. I’m very excited about my plans, and pleased that I’ve got things cleared in my mind, when before they seemed muddy and I was uncertain about what I wanted to do, or where I was heading.

So, if you want my schedule, it goes something like this: home, apply for a Masters degree in Meteorology and Climate Change, work in a crappy job to save money, Christmas, hopefully get accepted for my Masters, travel to Africa for 3-4 months (including volunteering and a rafting trip down the Zambezi River), my friend’s wedding, work in a crappy job to save money, if I’ve been accepted for my Masters – start Masters! It’s a rough plan with plenty of room to manoeuvre and add/subtract as necessary, but it’s a plan none the less and I am so stoked to be able to tell people what I want to do and why.

So now you know. I suppose by writing this in black and white, there’s no going back on it!! I suppose I should have some sort of back-up plan, in case I don’t get accepted for my Masters, but I’d like to remain optimistic for the time being!! You’ll probably hear all about everything here, on my blog, where I let my mind wander freely. So, here’s to the past, present and future, I say, and to many more rambling blog posts to come!!