Dispatches from the first half of 2021

‘Be not afraid of growing slowly; be afraid only of standing still.’ – Chinese proverb.
A quote to recognise that a lot of us really have had to stand still for this first part of 2021, and yet, for me, it’s been a helpful period in my life, allowing me to see how I can grow, and change, and eventually move forwards.

A long, silence…

Phew! It has been one hot minute since I last posted anything on this website! Partly by accident and partly because I’ve been feeling completely uninspired, I’ve reached the beginning of August without having published a single post since February, when I wrote about walking from Folkestone to Deal. It has been literally months since my last update (HTMW Q4 2020 review), so I thought I’d ease myself back in by writing a round-up of everything that has happened in 2021 so far, and the plans I have upcoming for the remainder of 2021. Strap yourselves in, the first half of 2021 has been surprisingly busy!

The highlight reel

January played out quietly in the third lockdown.

Although January was spent under strict lockdown rules, there were still some bright spots amidst the dark. I started the month by quietly celebrating my 32nd birthday in Wales with my parents. We took a long snowy walk to see a beautiful waterfall, where we ate hot soup from a thermos with cheese sandwiches, and I received some thoughtful presents from family and friends. The very next day, I travelled back to London to see out lockdown back in my favourite city, this time alone.

Yep, alone! P chose to stay with his parents for the majority of the third lockdown, and I spent nearly seven weeks living by myself in our flat. While I was initially nervous about doing this, and worried I’d get lonely and bored, it turned out to be one of the most wonderful experiences. I formed a bubble with my sister and her housemates during my time living alone and spent my Saturday evenings with them, where we took turns to cook for each other, had some drinks and played board games. Aside from those brief evenings with company, and some walks with friends living nearby, I spent the majority of my time in my own company during that long third lockdown.

Living alone during the third lockdown was an antidote to living so closely with P during the first and second lockdowns.

I loved the freedom of no compromises, doing what I wanted when I wanted, watching whatever I liked on TV and taking over the whole flat as my own space. I appreciate that I was in a privileged position, and many people have suffered immensely while living alone for a long time during the pandemic. However, it was just what I needed, when I needed it.

I took lots of long walks on weekends, spending countless hours pounding the pavements around my home in north London, learning new walks and sipping takeaway coffees to keep myself warm. I started paint by numbers and enjoyed quiet evenings listening to podcasts while daubing paint onto canvas. Living alone meant I created my own routines, buying a takeaway once a week for a treat, indulging in multiple television shows and devouring book after book.

As the weeks progressed, the days gradually grew longer and lighter and oh, so slowly, lockdown began to ease…

February and March were more of the same, although P moved back to London in the middle of February. We quickly fell back into our old routines together and it felt good to have my friend back! Most excitingly, we committed to the idea of moving and very rapidly found a new, much bigger flat that we loved. It is just a ten minute walk from our old flat, and it felt so great to find a place with more space that was still in the area I’ve grown to love and feel at home in. We finally moved in early April – four hectic days of packing, cleaning, organising, delays, lifting and shifting, unpacking, flat-pack furniture and cardboard boxes.

The long walks continued, concluding with the ultimate hike, walking from Watford down to West Drayton along the canal. We clocked up thirteen miles and only stopped walking because my hip was so painful I could barely limp! Over the winter, one of the joys has been to grow more and more familiar with the canals and waterways around London. Part of me, oddly, misses those peaceful, slow days from the peak of the third lockdown. I don’t want to go back, but already I look back on them nostalgically. That amount of space, time and quiet, with no social obligations or expectations, will never be recreated or recaptured.

And so, life returned slowly to normality.

Pubs reopened. Cafes, restaurants and cinemas came back to life. Shops flung wide their doors. Traffic clogged the roads once more. We took trains, stepped outside the city parameters for the first time in months. Blinking like we were just reawakening, remembering how the world worked before. A day trip to Deal, before cafes and pubs could reopen indoors, and we froze eating fish and chips on the pier. Drinks late into the night, wrapped in our thickest coats as winter dragged on and the icy air left us unable to feel our fingers or toes. My first haircut in two years. Going back to Wales for the first time in five months. Inviting people over to see the new flat, the weird joy at entertaining again. Visiting grandparents that we hadn’t seen in years. Sunshine, spring creeping into summer. Vaccinations.

I am now double jabbed and incredibly grateful. Our numbers have risen and yet… The death rate remains low. I’m not so naïve as to think we’ll ever be free of COVID or that the pandemic is over. It really isn’t. But with three solid months of lockdown and only a slow release from restrictions, it feels wonderful to see the vaccination programme working and to feel hopeful that we may, finally, have better control over this hideous disease.

What about travel in 2021?

This website is primarily about travel, after all. And despite the long lockdown, I haven’t been completely stationary during the first half of 2021. While I have no plans at all to go overseas for the foreseeable future (or a passport to facilitate this, actually, since mine has expired!), I have been out exploring the UK when I can, and I have more plans to travel in the latter half of the year too.

I’ve already visited Deal and Chilham in Kent, Bristol, Suffolk, the New Forest, the Mendip Hills and I’ve gone to Wales three times since travel restrictions were lifted. My weekends have been filled with beaches, swimming, hiking, camping, BBQs, family time, Airbnb’s and trains. It has been wonderful to see more of the UK, and my love of this island has only grown.

And coming up, I have plans to explore even more widely across the UK throughout the remainder of 2021.

In September, I have three weeks of travel planned! I’ll be road tripping around Scotland, and I’m so excited! I’m craving adventure, and I’m hoping this trip will give it to me in spades. Travelling alone, I’ll be driving the NC500, before hopping over the Isles of Lewis, Harris and Skye and heading back to Edinburgh to finish my trip there. For the majority of my travels, I’ll be camping, and I have lots of walking planned, as well as some boat trips, sea kayaking and visiting key sights along the way. The rugged landscape, the rurality, the time alone… The trip is literally my dream right now, and I simply cannot wait to board my sleeper train to Inverness and get going!

What have I read so far in 2021?

Normally, I love to write more in-depth reviews, but with my current book total for 2021 standing at 32 books read, I think that we could be here forever! Instead, I’ll list out the books I’ve read, and highlight my favourites!

• The Land Beyond by Leon McCarron (non-fiction travel). ****
• Dangerous Crossing by Rachel Rhys (mystery fiction). **
• Love and Other Thought Experiments by Sophie Ward
  (psychological / gay fiction ). ****
• My Sister, the Serial Killer by Oynkan Braithwaite (satirical fiction). ***
• Memorial by Brian Washington (coming of age / gay fiction). ****
• 21 Miles by Jessica Hepburn (non-fiction memoir). ***
• Slow Trains to Venice by Tom Chesshyre (non-fiction travel). ****
• Elsewhere – One Woman, One Rucksack, One Lifetime of Travel by Rosita Boland (non-fiction travel). *****
• Lands of Lost Borders by Kate Harris (non-fiction travel). **
• Open Water by Caleb Azumah Nelson (political / urban fiction). ***
• Insatiable by Daisy Buchanan (humour / romance fiction). ***
• The Panic Years by Nell Frizzell (non-fiction memoir). **
• The Underground Railroad by Colson Whitehead (historical fiction). ****
• If Nobody Speaks of Remarkable Things by Jon McGregor (psychological fiction). **
• Alonement by Francesca Specter (non-fiction memoir). ***
• Ticket to Ride by Tom Chesshyre (non-fiction travel). ***
• Exciting Times by Naoise Dolan (romance / political / humour fiction). ***
• Death on the Nile by Agatha Christie (mystery / crime fiction). ****
• The Education of Ivy Edwards by Hannah Tovey
  (dark comedy / romance fiction). **
• Concrete Rose by Angie Thomas (Bildungsroman fiction). ****
• The Nickel Boys by Colson Whitehead (historical fiction). *****
• Exit West by Mohsin Hamid (political / romance fiction). ***
• Poor by Caleb Femi (poetry). ****
• How Do We Know We’re Doing It Right? by Pandora Sykes (non-fiction essays). ***
• Shuggie Bain by Douglas Stuart (Bildungsroman fiction). **
• The Other Black Girl by Zakiya Dalila Harris (dark comedy / satire fiction). ***
• Nine Perfect Strangers by Lianne Moriarty (psychological / thriller fiction). ****
• Ghosts by Dolly Alderton (contemporary romance fiction). ****
• Greenlights by Matthew McConaughey (non-fiction memoir). ****
• Last Night by Mhairi McFarlane (rom-com fiction). *****
• Small Pleasures by Clare Chambers (historical fiction). *****
• Piranesi by Susanna Clarke (fantasy* fiction). ***** *but not that kind of fantasy…

My favourites.

The five highlighted favourites are a real mixture of genres, from the reasonably light hearted and easy to read McFarlane novel to the darker, more difficult to digest Whitehead. If it’s non-fiction you’re looking for, Boland’s book was brilliantly written with some truly wonderful travel tales included.

A word about Piranesi – it is sublime. I was hesitant about picking up another Susanna Clarke book (remember 2018 when I struggled to read Jonathon Strange and Mr Norrell?), but this was wonderful. Pure bliss from cover to cover. July was a GOOD reading month.

If you want a more personal recommendation, feel free to reach out or leave a message in the comments section below. I always love helping people pick their next read!

Of course, there have been some lows…

It would be remiss of me to write this post and ignore the fact that there have been some low points. Life for the past seven months of 2021 hasn’t always been wonderful, understandably.

In early March, a woman only a year older than me went missing. Sarah Everard’s disappearance, and subsequent murder, was all over the news. Thousands of stories from women of all walks of life were shared, about abuse, harassment and generally shit things men have done to them. At home, on the street, in pubs and bars, on public transport… Everywhere. Sarah’s murder brought up visceral emotions for women everywhere.

We’ve all been Sarah. Walking home in the dark, sober, talking on the phone in the hope it might deter would be attackers. Clutching keys in our hands, shoving them between our fingers in case we need a weapon to defend ourselves. Crossing the street if a man is walking behind us. Avoiding going out after dark altogether, unless someone offers to walk with us. Adjusting our lives to protect ourselves, always vigilant and cautious.

Sarah’s murder really got to me.

I didn’t go out after dark for a while. When the vigil on Clapham Common went ahead, I stayed home, ordered comfort food and lit a candle in my own private ceremony. On Twitter, I shared my own stories and read, through tears, other women’s stories. I cried. A lot. I felt bleak and tired and sad. It took a while for me to pull myself out of it. I spoke a lot with the other women in my life about what had happened. I spoke with the men in my life about what had happened.

Slowly, as time has passed, I’ve obviously gone outside after dark again, walking home from the tube after a night out, for example. But I’m warier than ever. And I still think of Sarah often. A woman much like me, who did everything right, and still had the worst happen. She’ll be in my thoughts for a long time to come.

Other things stressed me out and caused problems.

It’s difficult to share some of the things that happened in the first half of 2021, mainly because they’re private, or the timing is not quite right yet. I really hate to be super enigmatic, so I will say two things:

1. Please be assured that nothing that happened to me was unfixable or extremely saddening or awful. I had some rough moments (haven’t we all!) and my mental health was impacted for a period, but I’m much better now.
2. I’ve actively gone out and made some changes in my life that I’m excited to share in the next few months. They’re big changes for me, which is a little daunting, but the time is right and I so need these changes!

Some photos from the first half of 2021!

As always with my review/catch up posts, I’ve collated some photos from the last few months. I’ve picked my five favourites from my Instagram feed from the first half of 2021, and shared a little story about each image. I hope you like them as much as me!

A single raindrop…

‘The voice of a single raindrop will always make a splash when it has something to say.’ – Anthony T. Hincks.

During the third lockdown, one of my greatest pleasures was getting outside to walk each day. I walked every single day for seven weeks, whatever the weather. Sometimes, it was literally the only thing that kept me sane!

This photo was taken one showery Saturday afternoon, when E and I decided to walk the Parkland Walk from Finsbury Park back to Highgate. We were out for a good few hours, stomping through muddy puddles and talking about life. As we came down Dartmouth Park Hill, this tree caught my eye. Perfectly formed drops of sparkling water hung at the end of each twig. It was simply beautiful. I got as close as possible and made this image. A memory from lockdown captured forever.

Green domes and perfect light.

Not long before we moved, I walked up to Waterlow Park to escape the confines of our old, very small flat. It was that time of day where the sun is hanging low in the sky, and throws rays at odd angles towards Earth. I was in the right place at the right time – St Joseph’s gleaming green domes caught those rays at their odd angles perfectly.

I remember feeling so relieved that we were moving, that we would soon be living somewhere bigger, and that we’d been lucky enough to find somewhere as great as our new flat in the same area. This area feels like home in London. Waterlow Park is one of my favourite spots. Especially when the sun throws rays at odd angles and I’m there to catch the light.

Pink sky at night…

We hadn’t seen our grandparents for a couple of years, so E and I seized the opportunity to head out of London one May bank holiday weekend. A train and a bus later, we were caught on the edge of Suffolk, where the county butts up against Cambridgeshire and Essex. During the evening, we took a stroll through the fields behind my grandparents’ house. It was the end of a long, warm day. The sun had gone, leaving behind an azure evening sky, fading to pink and peach on the horizon.

The footpath we followed was cracked and dry. The fields were edged with deep ditches, devoid of water. We strolled beside a meadow filled with wild flowers, and spotted a deer grazing quietly near the hedge line. The heat of the day was slowly draining away. We paused briefly, I knelt and took this photo almost on a whim. It came out perfectly, the periwinkle sky slipping to palest silk pink. Trees silhouetted. Golden crops. An image that, for me, encapsulates the essence of Suffolk.

A golden sunset.

Travelling back to Wales, once allowed, has been a joy this year. I have been back there more times in 2021 than I would usually, and my last trip there was the best so far. Cloudless days from the very beginning of my trip to the end. Achingly hot days, temperatures soaring to the high twenties. I strolled and read, ate good food, cooked an all-vegetarian BBQ for my parents and had time away from my laptop screen. On a whim, I bought a paddling pool, but had more joy swimming in the river near my parents’ house, and in the ocean. Twice I went to the beach. I spent time in North Wales, an area I am longing to explore more. I shopped for antiques, stood on top of mountains and rode a steam train through a valley cloaked in trees.

It was an idyllic trip. The sort where I reverted to childhood, wearing flip flops 95% of the time and shorts 80% of the time. My legs came up with insect bites, scratches, a slight sunburn. I revelled as cool water caressed my skin, as gentle waves lapped past me while I bobbed in the sea. I ate ice cream, fish and chips and drank ice-cold gin and tonics. This photo, taken one evening on a stroll, perfectly captures a moment in time for me. The perfect trip back to Wales. The perfect summer holiday.

Don’t go chasing waterfalls…

While in Wales, I spent one Sunday in the Brecon Beacons Waterfall Country. Here, the Afon Hepste gathers pace as if flows off the Beacons themselves, and cascades over a series of falls that have become somewhat famous. There are four in total, and we ended up seeing three during our walk, including this one: Sgwd Isaf Clun-gwyn. Foolishly, I left my swimming stuff at home, and had to content myself with getting as close as possible to the falls without actually getting in.

At this point, I could feel the spray on my face, cooling my hot skin. My feet, encased in hiking boots, slipped into puddles and water soaked gently in. I didn’t mind. Crouching, I lined up the photo, only to be disturbed by a man whooping as he slipped behind the curtain of water and got an icy shock! I managed to take the photo before he could get into the frame – he’s just to the right out of this shot! Lucky timing for me – a minute later and I wouldn’t have gotten the clear photo I wanted!

So that was the first half of 2021!

Despite the long lockdown, a surprising amount has happened in the first half of 2021. I’ve enjoyed a few trips around the country, I’ve made some positive changes in my life and I feel like I’m in a good place as we move into the latter half of 2021. I’m excited to see what the future holds, and I sincerely hope that the worst of the pandemic is now behind us, although the cynic in me always tells me to be careful with that wish!

As always, if you want to follow along with my life in real-time throughout 2021 (and beyond!), you can check out the How The Mind Wanders… Instagram feed. I also recently started a new venture called Cheese+Trains, so if you’re interested in either cheese or trains, I’d love for you to follow the Cheese+Trains Instagram too. You’ll get more focused insights into my life, where I showcase two of my favourite things!