Conquering our Fears

‘Do one thing every day that scares you.’ – Eleanor Roosevelt 
‘The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.’ – Franklin D. Roosevelt

Fear is both a wonderful and terrible thing. Wonderful because it protects and cocoons us, wraps us up and helps us recognise a bad, dangerous or difficult situation. Terrible because it can hold us back, dragging at our heels and stopping us from doing what we really want to do, or think we should do anyway. The one single thing that holds me back in life is fear, and until recently, I was never entirely certain how to combat that.

Things have changed a little now. On Saturday, I got back from my two week trip to Ghana. You’ll remember I’ve posted about this trip before, in my very first blog. I was so excited about going, but filled with trepidation and nerves too. What if I hated it? What if the other volunteers were horrible? What if the food was awful? What if I got homesick?

All the worst scenarios raced through my head. I was reminded by my mother, a little impatiently but mostly kindly, that I was only going for a fortnight. If it was really awful, at least I wasn’t going to be there for months and months. This was a little comforting. However, the fear of the unknown was in me and could not be quelled until I began the journey.

After 24 hours of travelling, we arrived in Ghana, exhausted and a little bewildered. It was hot and there was no time to feel scared or nervous. We were whisked out of the airport in Accra and into a taxi by someone who introduced himself as Felix. The last stage of our journey began – a 3 hour drive north to Mpraeso.

By the time we reached the volunteer house, I was too tired and disorientated to feel fear of the unknown any longer. I didn’t even feel trepidation anymore. Every emotion I had was replaced by the urge to go to bed and sleep for as long as possible. For an instant, I felt overwhelmed – we were in the middle of nowhere, thousands of miles from home and I hadn’t seen a woman yet, what with our taxi driver being a man and having been greeted at the house by two guys.

But that feeling passed almost instantly. From there on in, there was barely time to feel any fear, or nerves, or concern, or to even worry about anything really. We were too busy! From the moment we landed in Ghana to the moment we flew out of the country again, we were busy. Busy standing under a waterfall, being pelted by the cool water as it cascaded over our heads, necks and backs. Busy climbing a 2500 metre mountain in 25 degree heat and humidity to see the view over Nkawkaw. And as if that wasn’t hard enough, we then descended a steep path through the rainforest, only to have to climb all the way back up again (a good 15 minute climb with no let up, on a gradient similar to that of a ladder against a wall).

We spent our weekdays at school. Here, things were so chaotic and messy that there was barely time to breathe, let alone feel worried about anything. At Sunrise School, I was left in charge of a class of 30-40 three and four year old children, who did not understand a word I said without the teacher interpreting and who seemed determined to give me my first grey hair. My first Tuesday afternoon in Ghana was spent making countless paper aeroplanes for countless children as they came back over and over again to demand more and more.

At my second school, there were three of us helping the teacher with a class of 120 three-six year old children. When faced with the daunting challenge, you just have to square your shoulders and rise to it. To do anything else would be futile. As you break up the fifth fight of the morning (and it’s only an hour in), it’s almost a laughable situation. That is, until it’s your turn to be accosted, and children clamber and climb all over you, hang off your arms, rub your skin, fight over holding your hand and generally cling. After a few days, this behaviour becomes tiresome and you have to find ways to extradite yourself from these situations carefully and quietly, without causing too much upset.

At Cape Coast, we visited a slave castle. The experience was sobering. The fear those poor men and women must have felt, as they lay, many of them dying, in the dark, dank dungeons deep underground… You could still smell it, hanging thickly in the air. Tangible, over 200 years after the slave trade ended. I could almost see the shapes outlined in the dim light, hundreds of men and women cramped into the dungeons. 200 to a room. Our group was 30 strong, and that felt crowded. One can only imagine what those men and women suffered before the slave trade was ended in 1807. It put my own fears into prospective.

On a personal note, I managed to move towards conquering one of my fears whilst in Ghana. I made it around all 7 bridges on the canopy walk in Kakum National Park, ignoring the fear I have of heights. It’s not that I’m afraid of looking out across a view, but looking straight down turns my stomach and I get vertigo. The walkway was unstable and felt like it could break at any moment. But I made it, and felt immeasurably proud of myself for managing it!

Going to Ghana has helped me to put my fears into prospective. It’s natural to be cautious of new situations and to feel nervous and uncomfortable if you push yourself out of your comfort zone. Throughout my trip, I experienced various moments when I pushed myself to the limit and way out of my comfort zone, and I made it. I’ve learnt that I can put my mind over the matter in hand and succeed.

Now, it’s time to plan for 2013. I am thinking of going to America (California, to be precise) for three weeks in June/July and then on to volunteer again, for a month or so, rather than just two weeks. This time, I’d like to go to Honduras or Uganda (depending on the cost of flights!). I know now that it’s only natural to feel fear, anxiety and nerves before embarking on these trips. I’ll be going outside my comfort zone and I’ll be doing things I’ve never done before, visiting places way beyond anywhere I’ve been before. But I refuse to let my fear hold me back, because when you conquer it, you experience some truly wonderful people, places and cultures, and truly have the time of your life. It’s exhilarating to push yourself to the limit and find you can go beyond anything you imagined possible of yourself.

There’ll be other challenges too, no doubt, and closer to home, in work and in other aspects of life. But I refuse to let fear drag me back from now on. My trip to Ghana, although it was only two weeks, has opened my eyes and changed the way I see the world and the way I see myself. I can do things I never knew I could, and it’s amazing. And the best way to keep conquering your fears? Keep pushing, keep testing those limits, those boundaries… You’re the only person who sets them for yourself. You’re the only person who can break them down and keep moving forwards, onwards and upwards. Trust your instincts, they’ll protect you when you break through the fear barrier and it no longer cocoons you as snugly as it did before. Go with your gut. It won’t let you down.